best job I ever had was manually removing aquatic plants from like, golf course ponds. I started out wearing waders, but the plants would be in too deep, so I just started wearing a bathing suit and water shoes and diving down under and just pulling cattails and stuff out by the roots. The thing was, when I’d first get started, the vegetation might be so thick it took up most of the pond, and I’d start in the deepest section so as I got tired I could move toward shore and start standing instead of swimming.
So I’d dive in and virtually disappear into the reeds
and it wasn’t until recently I thought about how many random tourists just saw some girl walk into an aesthetics pond in a swimsuit and dive under water and then just……….Not come back out
job description: golf course alligator
My fav part of this job is that it’s so bad for the golf course. Every year golf courses contact fish managers bc all of the fish in their ponds keep dying, and golfers’ families are upset bc they like fishing the ponds.
So we go test some water indices and usually find out that fertilizer runoff from the lawns has turned the pond into an oxygen void, so the fish all essentially suffocated, so we say “you need to build up a riparian buffer [wet habitat vegetation and trees that can absorb nitrates before they get into the water] around your pond”
And they’re like “no that looks ugly” and then they hire undergrads like me to remove the vegetation they do have
And then they’re like “wtf my fish are DEAD again!!!!”
It doesn’t end.
Golf course manager: I will pay you $8 an hour to destroy part of my business for aesthetic purposes
in 4th grade i was introduced to the concept of “run-on sentences” by my teacher and i immediately raised my hand and pointed out that none of the sentences being used as examples were actually grammatically wrong at all and were just longer than most people can comfortably write/read and she made me sit in the corner and i feel like that shows a lot in my typing style on this hellsite
I just slipped hard in the horse pasture. Lying on the ground in the snow, wind knocked out of me, I see Pinkman take off towards the house like sewer rat Lassie. Wow, I think to myself, what an incredible animal! She is going to bring me help! I am so lucky to have her!
A minute later Pinkman returns. She places a tiny tennis ball in my actively bleeding hand, and prances beside me begging me to throw it as I drag my wretched flesh prison back up to the house alone.
See how fast I move next time you get your head stuck in the dishwasher rack, PINKMAN
